Fortified
When I was a child, I thought like a child, I felt like a child, I ate like a child. When I grew up, I put away childish things.
Except for Lucky Charms.
I love a good bowl of Lucky Charms. I've learned how to eat it so that it's always moist but never gets soggy (a difficult task) and so that there are always at least five marshmallows in the last bite (an even more difficult task). If you think about it, I have thought and felt like an adult while still eating like a child, which makes me proud.
But something recently irked me about my favorite sugary cereal. General Mills now advertises that a bowl of Lucky Charms is fortified with vitamins (A, C, and D) and calcium.
Well, sure. If you pour milk on it. Milk is what makes a serving of Lucky Charms into a bowl of Lucky Charms. And milk has the all vitamins and calcium I need. So did they really fortify it, or did they just point out the fact that milk has nurtional value?
Now why go to the pains to prove to anyone that Lucky Charms is good for you? It's clearly not. But that's not why people eat Lucky Charms. People eat Lucky Charms because it's toasted sugar and marshmallows, a recipe which few (if any people) can find fault with.
Who are they trying to impress: moms? Well, here's a tip, General Mills: nobody eats or gives Lucky Charms to a kid for health. It's for taste and/or to shut kid up.
If a health nut asked the question, "If you were stranded on a desert island with only one thing to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?" I would answer, "Lucky Charms." I don't even have to think. I just know. I want to put Lucky Charms into me so much that I would choose them above all other foods for my magic, one-fooded desert island lifestyle.
But health nuts nay-say. They say, "Nay, Brian, you'd die because of malnourishment."
And I always say, "It's my magic desert island. I don't have to be practical, just full of sugar and marshmallows."
They don't understand my love for Lucky Charms. But I do. I've invested in this cereal for a long time. I'll drink milk to be healthy, and eat Lucky Charms to be happy. Now leave me alone and let me eat my damn toasted sugar.
[crunch]
brian
Except for Lucky Charms.
I love a good bowl of Lucky Charms. I've learned how to eat it so that it's always moist but never gets soggy (a difficult task) and so that there are always at least five marshmallows in the last bite (an even more difficult task). If you think about it, I have thought and felt like an adult while still eating like a child, which makes me proud.
But something recently irked me about my favorite sugary cereal. General Mills now advertises that a bowl of Lucky Charms is fortified with vitamins (A, C, and D) and calcium.
Well, sure. If you pour milk on it. Milk is what makes a serving of Lucky Charms into a bowl of Lucky Charms. And milk has the all vitamins and calcium I need. So did they really fortify it, or did they just point out the fact that milk has nurtional value?
Now why go to the pains to prove to anyone that Lucky Charms is good for you? It's clearly not. But that's not why people eat Lucky Charms. People eat Lucky Charms because it's toasted sugar and marshmallows, a recipe which few (if any people) can find fault with.
Who are they trying to impress: moms? Well, here's a tip, General Mills: nobody eats or gives Lucky Charms to a kid for health. It's for taste and/or to shut kid up.
If a health nut asked the question, "If you were stranded on a desert island with only one thing to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?" I would answer, "Lucky Charms." I don't even have to think. I just know. I want to put Lucky Charms into me so much that I would choose them above all other foods for my magic, one-fooded desert island lifestyle.
But health nuts nay-say. They say, "Nay, Brian, you'd die because of malnourishment."
And I always say, "It's my magic desert island. I don't have to be practical, just full of sugar and marshmallows."
They don't understand my love for Lucky Charms. But I do. I've invested in this cereal for a long time. I'll drink milk to be healthy, and eat Lucky Charms to be happy. Now leave me alone and let me eat my damn toasted sugar.
[crunch]
brian
posted by brian at
2:34 AM
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