fortune cookies are fun again
Okay, nobody really believes that authentic Chinese fortune cookies are Chinese cookies containing authentic fortunes. But we all open them up and wonder what the fortunes will say anyway. But often they're just dumb: sayings like "Lend a hand to someone less fortunate than yourself." Blah. Boring. I'm not consulting cookies to hear proverbs. I'm looking to be entertained and, perhaps, enlightened.
I don't know about the second part, but my friends taught me a game a few years back which has greatly maginified the fun factor of fortune cookies. It's called "in bed." For those of you who haven't heard of this, "in bed's" rules are simple: add "in bed" to the most appropriate (read: hilarious) part of the fortune. So, a boring fortune like "Lend a hand to someone less fortune than yourself" becomes about a thousand times more interesting when it reads "Lend a hand to someone less fortunate than yourself in bed."
Anyway, I so love this game that I actually keep the best fortunes on me at all times: they're in a special pocket of my wallet. So, without further ado, here are my best (actually discovered) fortunes:
10. "Lend a hand to someone less fortunate than yourself in bed."
09. "Be daring, try something new in bed."
08. "Your talents in bed will capture you the highest status and prestige."
07. "With integrity and consistency, your credits in bed are piling up."
06. "Versatility in bed is one of your outstanding traits."
05. "You create enthusiasm around you in bed."
04. "You will be successful in bed through innovation and determination."
03. "A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't in bed."
02. "If you continually give, you will continually have in bed."
And, my favorite, la piece de resistance...
01. "If you can befriend yourself, you'll never be lonely in bed."
[suddenly hoping fortunes do come true]
-brian
I don't know about the second part, but my friends taught me a game a few years back which has greatly maginified the fun factor of fortune cookies. It's called "in bed." For those of you who haven't heard of this, "in bed's" rules are simple: add "in bed" to the most appropriate (read: hilarious) part of the fortune. So, a boring fortune like "Lend a hand to someone less fortune than yourself" becomes about a thousand times more interesting when it reads "Lend a hand to someone less fortunate than yourself in bed."
Anyway, I so love this game that I actually keep the best fortunes on me at all times: they're in a special pocket of my wallet. So, without further ado, here are my best (actually discovered) fortunes:
10. "Lend a hand to someone less fortunate than yourself in bed."
09. "Be daring, try something new in bed."
08. "Your talents in bed will capture you the highest status and prestige."
07. "With integrity and consistency, your credits in bed are piling up."
06. "Versatility in bed is one of your outstanding traits."
05. "You create enthusiasm around you in bed."
04. "You will be successful in bed through innovation and determination."
03. "A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't in bed."
02. "If you continually give, you will continually have in bed."
And, my favorite, la piece de resistance...
01. "If you can befriend yourself, you'll never be lonely in bed."
[suddenly hoping fortunes do come true]
-brian
posted by brian at
10:47 PM
1 Comments:
hey man, just got this whole blogspot thing. By the way. I totally used that joke in highschool. Although we had the habit of adding that phrase onto the end of each other's random sentences. The other fun phrase to use is, "like a fox!" Just to mix things up, right?
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