10 Things to Do When Bored
Here's a list of ways to pass the time when really bored and mischievous.
10. Buy a giant 10 lb. bag of salt and pour it all over the kitchen floor. When asked why you would do such a thing, say "I was trying to protect YOUR kitchen from SNAILS!" and run off into another room with your face in your hands.
9. Go to the mall with an old, big cordless phone. Stop someone and ask for directions to the nearest GAP, then start shaking the phone in your hand, claiming that it's on "vibrate" and that you have to take this call, but thanks for their time.
8. Get in the elevator of an office complex. Just as the doors close, inform everyone that you have a psychotic fear of heights which makes you very violent. Then grip the rails as the elevator starts to move, rubber-legged and groaning with fear. People will fear you back.
7. Glue a Scotch tape dispenser to the ceiling of your house/office. When someone asks what it's doing up there, sigh and say with a guilty tone, "I know they SAY never to refill them with a generic brand, but I never knew that THIS would happen!"
6. You need a department store for this one. Grab a stylish outfit from the racks, put it on, and then go stand in a hip pose for an extended period of time. It helps if you can go without blinking. When a sales associate asks you what you are doing, tell them, "The mannequins are threatening to strike and Corporate hired me to scab."
5. Go to a bar and attempt to go behind the counter. When the bartender stops you and asks what the [expletive] you think you're doing, just say, "Oh. Don't worry, I'm with the band." There's a slight chance he might hurt you, but the look on his face will be worth it.
4. At a MacDonald's drive-thru, place an order for chicken nuggets. When asked what kind of dipping sauce you want, say "Blue Sauce will be fine." Every time the drive-thru clerk insists that there is no Blue Sauce, laugh as hard as you can and say, "Oh, you're a riot. But the blue sauce will be fine then." Enjoy.
3. Go to an appliance store, secure the help of a clerk and look into their washer/dryer selection. When he or she tries to sell you their best model, feign deep interest. As they drone on, start to climb into the unit. When they ask you what you're doing, reply matter-of-factly, "Well I have to make sure that they'll FIT in here, don't I?" Leave them to wonder who "they" are.
2. Go to the 99 cents store. Acquire an item, take it to the counter, and proceed to try and "trade them for it" for five peppermints. If they persist to say no, go up to six, but definitely no more than seven.
1. Put on white shorts, white shoes, white socks, and a white shirt. If you have a white hat, throw that on too. Go to the hardware store and pick up a small 2x4. Next, look for one of those sign-spinners, those people who are hired out by real estate companies to bring awareness to new housing developments. Go and stand next to them and start imitating their tricks with your board of wood. When they ask you what you're doing, challenge them to "battle" for pink slips--your board against their sign. See what they do next.
[enjoy]
brian
10. Buy a giant 10 lb. bag of salt and pour it all over the kitchen floor. When asked why you would do such a thing, say "I was trying to protect YOUR kitchen from SNAILS!" and run off into another room with your face in your hands.
9. Go to the mall with an old, big cordless phone. Stop someone and ask for directions to the nearest GAP, then start shaking the phone in your hand, claiming that it's on "vibrate" and that you have to take this call, but thanks for their time.
8. Get in the elevator of an office complex. Just as the doors close, inform everyone that you have a psychotic fear of heights which makes you very violent. Then grip the rails as the elevator starts to move, rubber-legged and groaning with fear. People will fear you back.
7. Glue a Scotch tape dispenser to the ceiling of your house/office. When someone asks what it's doing up there, sigh and say with a guilty tone, "I know they SAY never to refill them with a generic brand, but I never knew that THIS would happen!"
6. You need a department store for this one. Grab a stylish outfit from the racks, put it on, and then go stand in a hip pose for an extended period of time. It helps if you can go without blinking. When a sales associate asks you what you are doing, tell them, "The mannequins are threatening to strike and Corporate hired me to scab."
5. Go to a bar and attempt to go behind the counter. When the bartender stops you and asks what the [expletive] you think you're doing, just say, "Oh. Don't worry, I'm with the band." There's a slight chance he might hurt you, but the look on his face will be worth it.
4. At a MacDonald's drive-thru, place an order for chicken nuggets. When asked what kind of dipping sauce you want, say "Blue Sauce will be fine." Every time the drive-thru clerk insists that there is no Blue Sauce, laugh as hard as you can and say, "Oh, you're a riot. But the blue sauce will be fine then." Enjoy.
3. Go to an appliance store, secure the help of a clerk and look into their washer/dryer selection. When he or she tries to sell you their best model, feign deep interest. As they drone on, start to climb into the unit. When they ask you what you're doing, reply matter-of-factly, "Well I have to make sure that they'll FIT in here, don't I?" Leave them to wonder who "they" are.
2. Go to the 99 cents store. Acquire an item, take it to the counter, and proceed to try and "trade them for it" for five peppermints. If they persist to say no, go up to six, but definitely no more than seven.
1. Put on white shorts, white shoes, white socks, and a white shirt. If you have a white hat, throw that on too. Go to the hardware store and pick up a small 2x4. Next, look for one of those sign-spinners, those people who are hired out by real estate companies to bring awareness to new housing developments. Go and stand next to them and start imitating their tricks with your board of wood. When they ask you what you're doing, challenge them to "battle" for pink slips--your board against their sign. See what they do next.
[enjoy]
brian
posted by brian at
6:12 PM
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