The Future---In Your Pocket

I have two lexicons--phrases I use constantly inside my mind, and those I say out loud. Now, there's a lot of cross-over between the two. For example, in both lexicons the phrase "I wonder-" is at the top of the list. But there are many divergences.

Some phrases I only use out loud, like the suffixes "... right?" and "... you know what I mean?" There's the emphatics like "CRAP" and "Not again!"--both of which, interestingly, I find frequent context for using.

On the other hand, certain phrases seldom make it out of my head. "So THAT'S where that went" is one that usually stays inside. I also say "Wait, what?" "Stop," and "Okay" to myself a lot, but try not to use them so frequently in conversation.

So I recently noticed that a particular phrase has made it to the top of my internal lexicon. You'd probably never guess unless I told you, so I will.

The phrase that has gained so much prominence in my mind is...

ready?...

"Where's the Purell?"

I got hooked on the instant hand sanitizer this summer when I had to sit in my car overnight. I had a bottle of Purell on hand and made use of it after "going to the port-a-potty" or eating fast food. But over time, I began using it on more and more occassions.

When I finished my coffee, squirt.

When I sneezed or coughed, squirt.

When I shook hands with strangers, squirt.

When I finished reading a book, squirt.

I propose that we make it fashionable to keep a bottle of Purell on you at all times. I'm sure you can imagine all the practical applications, but the most important is that it would encourage men to wash their hands more.

I don't know what it is, but for some reason 75% of the men I see go into the restroom never wash their hands when done. Sure, they'll touch the cold metal levers on the urinals and toilets. Sure, they'll stop at the mirror to look at their hair. Sure, they'll proceed to pull the door open and thus spread their waste remnants, germs, and smell about.

But wash their hands? How dare we ask them to? I mean, they have to pull up on the faucet lever, put their hands under running water, push in on the soap dispenser, lather up the soap, stick their hands back under the running water, then push down on the faucet lever, and finally pull out a paper towel to dry off their hands.

This is too many steps to ask a guy to add to a bathroom routine which otherwise goes stop. unzip. go. zip. flush [maybe]. leave.

But think about Purell in the place of soap... they'd just have to go open. squirt. snap. rub. go.

And the world would be a much cleaner place.

How about it?

-brian