apple jacks

Today I went to the Apple Store. I must make this clear: I did NOT go to get a new iPod. I went armed against that idea. Why get a new iPod when I have one already?

I love my iBook and iPod. I would never betray them. They have served me well over the last year. But... they both seem to like breaking at the same time.

I have a 3rd Generation iPod which is supposed to look like this:



but which instead tends to look like this:



You see, my battery is dead. When I turn my iPod on, I always see the Apple logo... something you see only when [a] your battery is dead or [b] something else has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

I know that little guy is supposed to be reassuring and friendly, but its affirmation has long since worn off. Now it scares me... I have come to dread turning on my iPod for fear of seeing it. It's like my mp3 player is haunted by an apple I ate when I was a kid, and now it is seeking some sort of evil revenge upon me by taking what I hold close to my heart: my MUSIC!

"That apple will get his," I thought.

I was right about the battery, but wrong about the price to fix it. At first I thought it would be about $60 to get it serviced, then it was $85, and then it was all the way down to $00. Yay for that!

But then there's a $30 fee to "test the battery." You mean, flip the switch to see the apple logo pop up and then fly away to eat more of my music? I see how the labor justifies the price.

But at the end of the day, it's a $30 discount against the $60 I was prepared to pay. Wahoo.!.!?

However, it takes 2-3 business days to get an iPod tested [again, it's a time-consuming process], and another few days to get a new unit sent in [mine is no longer sold in stores]. So I was told that I would be iPod-less for at least a week.

No iPod = no music. No music = no music, and we all know what that means!

It was a horrible prospect. But a prospect that would save me money. Besides, what was I going to do? Buy another iPod? I remind you, I had NO intention of doing any such thing.

Moving on.

The second reason I went to the Apple Store is because of this:



my pride and joy, my iBook G4 12". I love this little guy. He and I have been through a lot together this year. But instead of looking like this:



it often looks like this:



For you see, the screen flickers and dims and gives me a scare. I think that my monitor is going away, and I don't want it to. Especially not in the middle of the semester. It needs to be fixed before midterms are upon me.

I realized as I entered the store that there were important files on my machine that I had forgotten to back up. And there's always a chance that your hard drive will be wiped when you send it away for service. I do not know why this is... do the technicians just do it for fun? To see how much trouble they can cause?

Seeing as how these files were the only copies I had, and that they were important, I would need to get something to transfer the data to. I asked if they had any thumb drives, and they did: 256mb for $35.

The Apple Store Guy tried to push this on me:



an iPod shuffle 512mb for $100. I said, "Pass. That price is too high."

For you must remember, that I had NO INTENTION of getting another iPod.

But that sneaky old Apple Man, he said to me, "We MIGHT have an open-box model that would be cheaper..."

And I said, jokingly, "Well, if it's $70 or less, then I'll buy it!"

And I grinned merrily. There was no way that would happen.

But Apple Man said, "Hold on." And he went in back, and he grabbed a box, and returned to the counter. The following words issued forth: "$69.95."

My heart leapt. Now, I must remind you that I had NO intention of getting another iPod when I went to the Apple Store. I know that two friends of mine each got one in as many days, and I know that they look nice and I want another one for no good reason. But... now I had a good reason. I needed SOMETHING to get my files, and RIGHT THEN. And this iPod Shuffle was only twice the price for twice the storage, but it had the ability to PLAY music too! How could I not NOT not say yes?

So I said, "Yes." And bought it.

In one stroke, I managed to save stuff from this:



and replace this:



by way of this:



so that I have music and files while both my older products are out of commission.

I still had to seek help for my iBook. I went to the Genius Bar and got a technician after a two-hour wait. My screen flickered the entire time that I waited.

When it came to be my turn, I looked at him and said, "My iBook's screen is flickering!"

And he said to me, "Show me."

I turned the iBook over to him.

And guess what? It stopped flickering as soon as he looked at it.

"It's not flickering," he made clear to me.

"I can see that. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't flicker," I made clear to him back.

"Yes, but it's probably the software," he suggested.

"The software," I replied skeptically.

It must be noted here that the Genius Bar's online appointment scheduler was down. The Apple Store's computers weren't working correctly, which is why I waited two hours for service instead of thirty minutes.

I say this only to point out that perhaps not every technician at the Genius Bar is what the name implies. They can't fix their own computers--why should they be able to fix mine?

It was humbling to have to accept the word of a man whose own computer wouldn't work, but I swallowed my pride and did a software restore off of their external hard drive. We shall see if this also updates the worn wires in my screen joints with new coating.

At the end of the day, I ended up spending $75 on an iPod shuffle to give me a music fix while my regular old iPod is in the shop. I thought I needed it for more, but my justification was swept out from under my feet by the words of a man whose computer doesn't work. Now I had the iPod Shuffle for no good reason, and thought about returning it.

But my mind said, "It's so shiny though..."

And I couldn't argue with that. It WAS so shiny. And a sort of technological wonder... 12 hours of battery life with 120 songs in something the size and weight of a pack of GUM? It's amazing! And amazing things need to be owned by SOMEONE, and that SOMEONE might as well be me...

And by the time I was done thinking this through, I was at home telling my mom about what I had gotten.

Live and learn. And buy.

Apple wins again. Damn you, Apple!

[but in a good way]
brian!