How To Have An Interesting Experience #24: Involving a Keyboard and Your Lungs

You will need a few common household items for this one:
[1] water bottle.
[1] pair of lungs.
[1] keyboard. A computer is preferable, although a typewriter will serve in a pinch.
[1] candlewax chip inside keyboard.
-[disclaimer: it is not recommended that you pour candlewax onto your keyboard, or that you put anything in your keyboard for that matter.]
-[disclaimer disclaimer: it's not really recommended that you perform the any of the in this actions post anyway, so if you feel like it, go ahead and pour wax all over your keyboard.]

Now that you have all of the items...
01. Get water bottle out of refrigerator.
02. Set water bottle and lungs in front of computer.
03. Connect to the internet to play a game. I chose to play chess.
04. Take cap off of water bottle.
05. Take a sip of water.
06. Set water bottle down on the table with a little too much enthusiasm.
07. Watch as little globules of liquid jump into the air and splatter on corner of keyboard.
08. Think of a way to immediately dry keyboard off, so as to prevent damage to the sensitive contacts underneath the keys.
09. When discovering that no drying surface is available, opt to suck the water off of the keyboard.
10. Suck corner of keyboard, paying no attention to how stupid this sounds.
11. Inhale hidden scented candlewax chip from underneath the "ENTER" key on the number pad.
12. Take a second to savor the pleasant flavor of the candlewax, which not only tastes good, but smells good even from inside of your lungs.
13. Take another second to realize that it also hurts very badly to have wax chips anywhere inside of you, but especially in your lungs.
14. Cough.
15. Cough again.
16. Take another drink out of water bottle.
17. Cough again with water in mouth, but attempt to keep the water inside of you.
18. Head to kitchen sink.
19. Force yourself to keep coughing, attempting to dislodge candlewax from your interior.
20. Start making horrible gagging and choking noises.
21. Look over at your mother, who is on the phone with a friend from another state.
22. Listen to her ask, "Are you okay?"
23. Opt not to answer with words, since you can barely breathe, but give her a thumbs up as you continue to gag and choke.
24. Expectorate into sink.
25. Laugh as you realize that this must look really dumb, and will sound even dumber when you explain what has happened.
26. Learn not to laugh when you are choking, because it makes you choke more.
27. Expectorate into sink again.
28. Exhale sharply.
29. Expectorate again.
30. Exhale with vivacity one final time.
31. Hear your mother speak into the phone, "I'd better go because my child is choking."
32. Tell your mom, "No really, I'm okay [gag] [chortle] [gag]."
33. Hear mother say "Good-bye," as you turn back to the sink.
34. Expectorate and exhale sharply. Repeat as necessary.
35. Examine the dislodged, slimy piece of candlewax in the sink.
36. Drink much more water.
37. Explain situation to your mother, who will undoubtedly look at you as though you were an idiot.
38. Realize that your mother's look is appropriate.
39. Go back to keyboard, and resume game.

[only being myself is enough]
brian!