drawing bright lines in the sand

Sunday, February 19, 2006

guppy

I played Scrabble(tm) with my best friend tonight. Usually, by the third round, he's kicking my ass so hard that I swear that I'll never use words again. But inevitably I break that vow when I tell him what he's done to me.

Why would I do such a stupid thing? Because (for whatever reason) Nick gets:
a. all the good letters
b. all the good bonus tiles
c. random letter combos that just happen to make words (gaby, anyone?)
d. all of the above.

and that flusters me. Me, the English major, lose to Nick!

...

See? Even thinking about Nick's little victories breaks my syntax.

But tonight... tonight is a night that will go down in my Scrabble book forever.

Tonight is the night that I opened with "martini" (22 pts + 50 pt bonus = 72 pt opening) and followed that three turns later with "material" (20 pts + 50 pt bonus = 70 pts).

Rock rock. Two seven-letter plays gave me a 150 point lead by the end of the first five turns.

Chew on that, Nicky-boy.

---
and chew he did.

He played "axel," "quits," "ozone," and "sac." Odd word choices, but also aggravating because he played them on triple-word scores. He closed the gap (Brian:362 to Nick:340), but mostly because I spent ten turns in the middle looking for an opening to play "guppy." It's a funny word. A word I want to play every time I get the letters.

Oh well. I will console myself with the fact I managed to play "sex" and "skid" in the same turn.

So, in the end, I scored a narrow victory but got some laughs out of it.

[guppy]
brian

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Yes!

I spent a few hours today cleaning up my room. I brought in a new bookshelf, and fixed an old broken one (with a hammer and everything!). I also cleaned a file cabinet which had apparently been used to catalog a large group of various poisonous spiders (still breathing), hung up some really cool (and sentimental) art, and dusted. Yes, dusted. It's important to dust.

My room feels more comfortable now. Papers no longer occupy the floor. Books no longer haunt the dark corners of my room. I have, as the Germans say, made a space for myself.

It feels good.

[spaces for everyone!]
brian

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Mao

Deity: Let there be a card game, and it shall be called Mao.
Lesser Deity: Mao?
Deity: Mao.
Lesser Deity: Why Mao?
Deity: Why not Mao?
Lesser Deity: Good point.
Deity: I thought you would agree.
Lesser Deity: So how does one play Mao?
Deity: That.... is unknown!
Lesser Deity: Unknown?
Deity: Unknown.
Lesser Deity: Why?
Deity: Why not?
Lesser Deity: Because if people do not know how to play, then they will not know how to win. And people don't like to play games that they cannot win.
Deity: You have turned logic against me, fiend! I shall fly at thee!
[Deity flies at thee]
Lesser Deity: Wait! Instead of hurting me, why not make up rules for the game?
[Deity stops flying at thee]
Deity: I shall consider this. [considers] You make a compelling argument.
Lesser Deity: Good.
Deity: The rules of the game are... that there are no known rules of the game!
Lesser Deity: No known rules?!
Deity: Precisely!
Lesser Deity: But then people cannot win!
Deity: Yes they can!
Lesser Deity: How can they win if there are no rules?
Deity: Who said there are no rules?
Lesser Deity:You just did.
Deity: Did I?
Lesser Deity: Yes!
Deity: DID I?
Lesser Deity: I heard you say that there are no known rules to Mao---
Deity: Precisely!
Lesser Deity: What do you mean?
Deity: There are no known rules for the game of Mao. However, there are rules.
Lesser Deity: How will the people play then?
Deity: [considers] I have it! Some few shall know!
Lesser Deity: But who decides who shall know and who shall not?
Deity: Hush, Lesser Deity, lest I fly at thee again! Will not the Mao go whither it goes?
Lesser Deity: Uh...
Deity: It shall! Let there be no confusion. Mao shall make its own way in the world of Man!
Lesser Deity: But how?
Deity: Are you sure you want to know?
Lesser Deity: Not really.
Deity: SURE?
Lesser Deity: Uh... yes...
[Deity looks left, right, left again]
Deity: [whispers] Come in closer.
Lesser Deity: What?
Deity: [whispers louder] Come in closer!
Lesser Deity: [comes in closer] Okay.
Deity: Mao shall make its own way in the world of Man, through...
Lesser Deity: Through?
Deity: Through....
Lesser Deity: THROUGH?
Deity: [whispers] Secret knowledge.
Lesser Deity: ! Brilliant!
Deity: I know!
Lesser Deity: So how shall we begin to spread the Mao?
Deity: Let us make just a few rules, and don the garb of humans, and give them what's for!
Lesser Deity: Yes, let's!
[Voices trailing off]
Deity: So I was thinking that the Aces should work as [!*#*@!]...
Lesser Deity: I see. And the 8's, what about if they [$&*_@$$]?
Deity: Brilliant!
Lesser Deity: What a good idea...

[go play it. if you dare.]
brian